Breaking Bread with Others

I don't know exactly when or how it started, but a bunch of my Starbucks co-workers and I are trying to make our own tradition of getting together for lunch/dinner every three weeks or so. Yesterday marked my third such meal. My first time, there were three of us; the second time, there were four of us; yesterday, there were five of us. I can't imagine it continuing to grow, but I do hope it continues.

Not only was it fun to break bread and just relax with my co-workers, but it was nice to spend some time outside of work with them. Okay, so we might have spent a good amount of time venting about work, but that certainly wasn't the only thing we talked about. We shared other parts of ourselves...stories of our pasts and our presents, and hopes for the future. We learned about each other as co-workers, and more importantly as people with lives outside of work.

It's amazing what can happen over a shared meal. I certainly don't do it enough, and think it's becoming a lost tradition. In fact, when I was apartment shopping in the summer so many people said that sharing the kitchen wouldn't be a problem because they hardly ever cooked. The same is certainly true for my current roommate. I don't know how/where/if the man eats.

Mind you, I'm no gourmet, and I certainly did cook best when I was living with a lover that I shared meals with--and probably the best during that year I spent as a vegan--but, I do enjoy cooking for myself. I haven't been doing much of it lately, though, since my new schedule has me running from place to place, or else too exhausted to eat, let alone cook. At least I've stopped eating late at night, and I've introduced more fresh fruit into my diet (fruit is such a great food--no fuss, no muss, and they can actually have some nutritional value). I definitely have a long way still to go, but a starts a start.

But not only is eating well, important, I definitely miss group-shared meals--the kind where you sit and talk and take hours, and have at least three courses. A good friend of mine still in Daly City, C.W., is an amazing person for such meal experiences. Every time I go back to CA, we get together for such a long meal at least once, if not more (if I'm lucky).

Years ago, I had a group of schoolmates that would get together for lunch, too. I used to lovingly refer to the three of us as the Tuesday Asian Lunch Club because we met after we taught class on Tuesdays, and because in our own way we were "Asian." The other two are both international students, one from Indonesia and one from South Korea. Despite our varying "Asian" experiences, it's probably been these two women among my departmental colleagues that I've had the most steady, undramatic relationships with. That is, though we've personally experienced ups and downs, and gone through our fair share of trials and tribulations, our friendships have never been the cause of any ill feelings among us.

It's actually amazing to think back about it, and realize just how true that is. Being in a Women's Studies department I thought would mean less of that interpersonal conflict, but then I remembered that such a location didn't preclude drama from happening (and if fact, many times it feels like it engenders it).

I miss those lunches. Two of us are still in town (the one has since moved to Vancouver, Canada), and every time we see each other in the department, my spirits are raised a little, and I feel less alone (and I think the same goes for her). We talk about getting together, but we haven't yet. I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe we needed that third...but maybe we don't. Something for me to think about.

But right now I've got to get ready and get off to a meeting!