Dignity

I've been meaning to attend a Dignity service for quite some time, but it was only yesterday that I finally carried it out into action.

Dignity says about itself:

DignityUSA works for respect and justice for all gay, lesbian, bisexual, and transgender persons in the Catholic Church and the world through education, advocacy and support.

In the past several years, it's been increasingly clear to me that alongside the importance I feel in claiming a queer identity, I feel similarly about also claiming a Catholic one. (Which is only part of the reason I want my next tattoo to be of a parol.) Although not without its potentially problematic complications, I've always understand my Catholicism as integrated with my Filipino-ness.

(Putting aside for the moment the oppressive imperialist implications of Spanish colonization of the Philippines as a source of Filipino Catholicism) Considering my "home" church, St. Augustine, and the depth of my mother's faith, it doesn't strike me as the least bit unusual that I would experience my Catholicism as enmeshed with my Filipino-ness.

My mother has been, and continues to be, the bearer of culture/"Philippine nationalism" in my family, and her devotion as a Catholic runs through her, and everything she's taught me about where I came from, who I am, and how to go through life. These are lessons, though not always well-learned and remembered, that I definitely cherish.

As for my home parish...I love going to church when I'm back home, just like I like hanging out at the local mall, Serramonte, because they're places I've always known as Filipino-dominated. Sitting in St. Augustine's, my brown skin and shaved head blend in with the crowd (okay, so I blend in with the men in the crowd, but blending is still blending!). But even more than just blending in, it's one of the few spaces I've been part of where it was understood that I/my people were the majority and must be taken into central concerns (for example, in choice of Pastor, sermon, hymns, etc.). It's one of the few places I feel I get "played to"/addressed/hailed as Filipino (outside of the countless instances I face the query "So, where are you from?").

In any case, in the attempt to better explore and connect with my Filipino and Catholic selves more, I became interested in attending a Dignity service. The local Dignity chapter, Dignity Northern Virginia, celebrates the liturgy just down the road from where I live, and feeling particularly called to mass yesterday, I ventured over.

It was definitely a new experience...First, they meet in an Episcopal Church, Immanuel Church-on-the-Hill. It was very strange not to have a crucifix over the altar. Second, they sang a hymn I'd never heard before. And, we only sang twice--at the entrance and exit of the priest. Third, they didn't once kneel. I, however, couldn't resist a little time on my knees. Fourth, I was the only person of color in the room (and probably the youngest, too). Fifth, it was the fastest Catholic service I'd ever been to.

Despite all these differences, though, there were many similarities (prayers, responses, etc.) to masses I've attended in the past. I'm not really sure what I think of attending Dignity services just yet (as opposed to just finding a "regular" Catholic Church to attend) but I will say that I was very impressed with the priest's explicit anti-war stance in his sermon, and the way in which he took his main theme of "cleansing the temple" (from the Gospel, John 2:13-25) to talk about the ways in which we've taken God's good gifts (for example, the ten commandments which were the subject of the first reading from Exodus 20:1-17) and distorted them, and forgotten their true, core values. A good lesson to remember.