Handshakes, Hugs, and Kisses

Recently, two Guerrilla Girls were brought to my campus for a speaking engagement. Never having seen them in person, but having taught about them, and having taught some of their materials, I was looking forward to their visit.

I still think that the Guerrilla Girls do good work to highlight the skewed representational politics in the museum art world, and to foreground oft-overlooked if not downright forgotten women artists. But, I must (sadly) say that I didn't find their presentation wowing.

The highlight of the night's event for me was actually getting to be part of the community that had gathered to see the Guerrilla Girls. More specifically, it was so great to see and re-unite with folks whose paths I've crossed over the years. I saw former students (a few alumnae who found their way back onto campus for the event), former classmates, and current students, too. It felt like what I imagine a class reunion to be (I say imagine since I haven't been to a reunion, yet).

Best of all were all the hugs and kisses exchanged in greetings and goodbyes. Hugging and kissing hello and goodbye doesn't at all seem remarkable when I'm in CA. In fact, on my last trip there, I think I hugged, kissed, and shook hands with more folks in those three days than I had in DC in the last two months. A couple were old friends, but mostly they were acquaintances or people I was meeting for the first time who were connected to acquaintances. In DC, the only people that I consistenly hug (there's definitely no kissing here) hello are international students from Asian and Latin American countries. There's definitely a physical ease with these folks that leads to this different kind of connecting.

I'm tempted to attribute it to cultural differences, but the more I think about it, the more I feel like it's not the differences between U.S. and non-U.S. cultures, but rather the differences between west coast and east coast cultures. I say this because I've noticed my own behavioral changes as I travel between SF and DC.

Having just gotten back from SF, I think I was still in the "hugging hello" mode last week. And, you know what? I really liked it. It was nice to feel connected to folks, and to actually make a physical connection, too. Hopefully I'll remember all this and keep my west coast ways alive out here in DC.

I actually did remember this morning. I went to study at Starbucks, but there were no empty tables available. Not wanting to leave, I simply approached a woman who was sitting alone if I could join her, and she let me. (There were no handshakes, hugs, or kisses, but I still think random hello's are unusual enough in DC that this fits along with what I've been saying here.) She read the paper while I worked to grade papers. As she got up to leave, she asked me if I was a teacher. When I said I was, she asked what I taught. I said "gay and lesbian studies" (it was very bad of me not to also include "bisexual" and "transgender", I admit it) at which point she did a quick double take, asked me if I had indeed said "gay," and then when I confirmed that, she shared that her rabbi was gay, smiled, and then turned and left. A strange experience, but I appreciated the connection nevertheless.

It feels good to be getting out of my shell a bit. It feels good to feel good enough to want to be out of my shell a bit. Shyness certainly hasn't served me well, so maybe it's a good thing that I'm starting to move away from that. I guess time will tell...