Desperately Seeking Solace

I feel like such a wreck right now. Part of me doesn't want to admit it, let alone write it down, because doing so makes it real in a way it wasn't otherwise. But holding it all in hasn't served me, so in the search for change, I'm trying something different. (Because what's insane is doing the same things over and over and expecting different results, right?)

Here's to letting go...

Not of hopes, or dreams, or desires--but expectations
Knowing my wants, paying attention to my needs, yet
Keeping gratitude in the foreground of my mind and heart

"You bring out the best in me"
It's what I want so desperately to tell her
It's what I need to make sure she knows

But I've said so much to her already

Perhaps now is the time for silence and patience?
But does that really ever get anyone anywhere?

Where am I trying to go?
Nowhere, really.

I'm trying to be here, now (with her).
I'm trying to be here, now (with myself).


I should probably just stop trying and let myself be.
It is what it is.