On the Road Again, the Rainbow Road

When I couldn't find Alex Sanchez's latest novel Rainbow Road at my local bookstore, I ordered it on-line. It arrived late last week, and was just another part of my journey this weekend which began with a road trip to Reading.

It was a great extension of my own road trip, sitting on a bench by the river facing the front of the Reading Public Museum, reading about Kyle, Jason, and Nelson's own road trip across the country (from Washington, DC to Los Angeles, CA). In addition, it reminded me of last summer (almost this same time of year) when I made my own first trip across the country (from Washington, DC to San Francisco, CA) as I accompanied a friend on her move back to the west coast. The boys took the southern route across, though, whereas j and I took a northern route (stopping in Iowa, Denver, and Reno).

There definitely is something transformative about driving across the country--even more so when you don't do it alone. The excitement, the fear, the being trapped, the feeling infinite...Sanchez did a great job of capturing these emotions. The distinct personalities of Kyle, Jason, and Nelson that Sanchez has developed over the series (Rainbow Boys, Rainbow High, and here in Rainbow Road) gets the chance to unfold even more. We learn more about the characters, we get to watch them grown, and become themselves (this is an element I absolutely love about both television and novel series).

Nelson's utter commitment to being himself shines through.
Kyle's dedication to his friends, and his vulnerability that is matched by his sense of hope are endearing.
And Jason...his perseverance is admirable.

While I worry that the ending is a little too focused on coming out as a panacea, I do like Sanchez's emphasis on the importance of community.

Jason's closing speech:

Um...Thank you. Um...You would think after playing so many basketball games in front of hundreds of people, I wouldn't be so nervous, but I think this is one of the scariest moments of my life.

I guess the difference is, when I'm on the court I've got a team, whereas here I'm all...Actually, I guess I'm not alone here either. I was originally supposed to be, but my boyfriend and one of our friends decided to come with me. They have no idea how glad I am right now that they're here.

Like probably all of you at some point when I was a kid, I started figuring out I was gay. Although I had little girlfriends, I was also curious about boys. When I was ten, I decided that since I'd kissed girls, I wanted to find out what it would be like to kiss a boy.

Unfortunately my dad came in on us. He gave me the biggest beating I'd ever had in my life.

You probably saw that sign outside. "Stop brainwashing our kids." Well, I was one of the ones brainwashed. That beating convinced me there was something wrong with me for wanting to kiss another boy like me.

I think for me the worst part of growing up gay was the loneliness that followed that beating. I became a prisoner locked up with my feelings. Of course I knew there were other kids, those like you. I heard the names you got called. I saw you getting beat up. And I'm ashamed to say I stood by like a coward, afraid to speak up, for fear my own secret would come out. And I hated myself for that.

Another sign outside says, "Repent or burn." I think in my case it happened the other way around: I spent most of my childhood burning inside...I've repented now, and I'm standing up for myself, and for you, and for thousands of others like us all across America.

As I drove across the country with my boyfriend and best friend we met some amazing people: a whole community of gay guys and women in the Middle of Nowhere, Tennessee, living free and being themselves...

We met this transgender girl who's just so happy being able to be herself as she always knew she was meant to be. And these two old guys in an RV, just loving each other and growing old. And I realize the reason I'd been so afraid to come out for was fear I'd be all alone.

But I get it now. I understand why it's so important to come out, and speak out, and reach out, and to have schools like this. And also, why those people outside with the signs are afraid of us. Because when we stop being alone, we get what I had on the court: a team to play with, to work with, to encourage each other, and to be there for one another, stronger than any single one of us could ever be.

Thank you.

GO TEAM!