Life Lessons from Totally Joe

Life Lessons from Totally Joe

A. Standing up for other people can help them learn to stand up for themselves.
B. Just be who you are, okay?
C. There’s no such thing as a wasted wish.
D. “Don’t ask, don’t tell” sucks!
E. You don’t have to travel to some other planet to find your way home.
F. Love your kids. Let them play with Barbies. Let them pick out the stuff in their bedroom. (Hello.) And don’t tell them that “people like that” make you uptight, because for all you know your kids just might be “people like that,” too.
G. As somebody said in a song once (I don’t think it was Elvis), “You gotta have friends.”
H. Trick-or-treating is for little kids.
I. There’s a song (not the Beatles) that says we’re “born free,” so how come we have to wait?
J. There should be a magazine called Grooms.
K. Middle school is like being trapped in a reality show where there’s no way off the island and you’re always a loser.
L. People leftovers last a lot longer than the food kind.
M. Being who you are isn’t a choice.
N. You can’t judge a person by their name.
O. Even when they give you trucks or pinch your cheeks, grandparents can be pretty cool.
P. Popularity is a win-win for the popular kinds and a lose-lose for everybody else. In real life (when you’re grown-up and out of school) popularity doesn’t matter.
Q. L
R. Religion is only as good as the people using it.
S. Jack Nicholson is weird.
T. Birthdays rock!
U. In the words of a very wise crustacean (and a good friend of Ariel’s): “It’s better down where it’s wetter, take it from me.”
V. “No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.”—Eleanor Roosevelt
W. I figured it out—when you’re writing, the person you’re talking to mostly is yourself.
X. As x-words go, you can’t beat “xylophone.” (Except with a mallet.)
Y. A day can start out ordinary and end up being in the Top Ten.
Z. Alphabiographies should be full of italics, CAPITAL LETTERS, and exclamation points! (Just like life!) And they should never end with the words “The End.” They should always end with: TO BE CONTINUED!

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