Strange Bedfellows

It's only the second week of the semester (and last week wasn't even a full week), and already I can feel myself starting to get bogged down by school and work. Not necessarily in a bad way--I'm enjoying being back in the classroom, I have been reading some interesting texts in relationship to my dissertation, and working has been fine for the most part. Still, there are several people/friends who I've been out of touch with the last couple of weeks who are due calls, or email at the very least. (umm...yeah...but instead I'm here blogging)

In any case, not wanting to be too dowdy so soon into the semester when I got a text msg from someone inviting me out for Rock Bottom's $1 pints happy hour Wednesday, I decided to join in. It was definitely an interesting night...interesting in the sense that I don't quite know if it was a good or bad night, but it was certainly eventful.

The person who I got the invite from is someone I used to work with and know casually. Her and her wife are really good about texting folks whenever they go out to happy hours and/or to clubs, which is useful when you feel like going out, but don't necessarily want to go alone. For a couple, I think they're pretty social (although sometimes they still do that hole-up-at-home thing) and they definitely have a wide range of friends.

It's this wide range of friends thing that struck me hard last night. The other folks they gathered for happy hour were all nice--we exchanged stories, had some laughs, and of course lots of beer. It crossed my mind during the evening, however, that these are probably people I wouldn't ordinarily meet/know on my own, and possibly wouldn't even want to meet/know. And, at more than one moment, I thought we certainly had collected a table of strange bedfellows.

One on hand, it felt good to just be out with other people. But that didn't stop me from feeling all the ways in which I was different... Appreciating difference is definitely something I see as important, but last night made me think about the lines I draw and that are drawn by others around differences.

In my introduction to LGBT Studies course, I make it a point early in the semester to stress that LGBT Studies is for everyone, not just LGBT people. Similarly, I stress in my introduction to Women's Studies courses that WMST is not only for women. And, it's always a huge component of my classes that we look at all kinds of dimensions of diversity, and work towards acknowledging, respecting, and seeing those differences as powerful.

Still, I found myself at happy hour thinking about how much more fun it would be if it were a gathering of LGBTQ people of color who were at the very least anti-sexist and anti-racist (unlike who I was actually there with).

I've heard of some folks of color saying that they were "done" with white folks, and that they weren't interested in getting to know any, or maintaining any kind of personal relationship with white folks. It makes sense to me why they would, and how they could say such things. I haven't (yet) taken such a stance.

Actually, it's kind of interesting...I've been asked by a couple of white folks in the last six months if I did take such a stance. Apparently, to some I come off in a way that might suggest as much...

In any case, I guess I just feel like my head's still reeling a bit (no, not from all the beer), but from the company I was keeping. I want to be able to hang with folks who I share some interests with, but they don't necessarily have to be interested in everything I'm interested in. Yet, at the same time, I also don't want to spend my time with just anybody--and by this I've just realized I mean I don't want to spend my time and energy with people who are unabashedly and unself-consciously sexist, racist, xenophobia, homophobic, etc. Well, not for fun, anyway.