Agreeing to Disagree

Okay, chances are that we've probably heard and even used the phrase "agree to disagree" hundreds of times. After events that transpired this past weekend, however, I'm beginning to wonder if there really is such a thing as agreeing to disagree?

If you had asked me last week, I would have said, yes, of course! Moreover, I would have talked at length about how agreeing to disagree is the very sign of learning to live with and in differences (borrowing from Audre Lorde here) that is at the very heart of so much of the feminist and LGBT lessons that I take to heart, as well as the lessons I attempt to teach.

After this weekend, though, agreeing to disagree seems more like a euphemism for "don't talk to me, and I won't talk to you," or more simply put, "leave me alone."

Really, though, how does one agree to disagree with another, especially when all parties involved feel so strongly and passionately? It seems only logical that strong beliefs are followed with strong actions. Is it only when we've lost the will to fight that we acquiesce to disagree? But isn't not allowing disagreement a sign of a fascist dictatorship? How do we maintain our strong beliefs, and our passions, along with our relationship to those with whom we disagree?

I know all about agreeing not to talk about certain things with certain people because of differing opinions, but this hardly seems like maintaining a relationship in some regard, albeit a possibly small one. Just like "open secrets," that which is unnamed, even if known, holds a certain amount of power over. On the other hand, it isn't always as easy as just saying "Voldemort."

Hmm...Harry Potter references...I must be feeling slightly better!