A Question of Identity

One of the things I try to do in my Intro to LGBT Studies course is to violate the assumptions my students have about gender. In part, I do so because it’s in these moments of violation that they best understand that despite their self-proclaimed “open-minded, liberal selves” (they enrolled in the class, after all) that they, too, still operate within systems and institutions that enforce particular (i.e., binary) gender scripts. (Admittedly, as do I.)

In general, we have good fun, and they realize that gender, and more importantly navigating the world with an attention to a true freedom of gender expression and identity, is full of complexity.

But, when I go on to talk about what pronouns are proper to use, for example, in referring to our trans authors, they still get a little flustered. They clearly want to do what’s “right,” but also want me to tell them one rule that works in all circumstances. Of course, they don’t realize that this is what they’re asking for, but when I point it out to them explicitly, they get it. They’re not always happy that there is no One Right Answer, but they at least begin to understand why this is the case.

I usually tell them that it’s best when dealing with ANYONE, trans or non-trans alike, that they ask people what pronoun they prefer to go by. (I often do this with them on the first day of class, and some are clearly excited by the question while for others it feels like such a silly question.) I share with them that I think that this is good practice all around, but that in my opinion, more of us don’t do this more often because we’re lazy, and after all, when we follow our default assumptions and use pronouns based on “traditional” categorization schemas of secondary sex characteristics, we’re often right.

If I’m successful, I get them to consider the importance of doing work like asking because it may make a world of difference to some, even if not to most.

So, you can imagine what a pleasant surprise it was for me when an advisor of mine, after looking at this blog and noticing my lack of explicit (gender) identification, took the time to ask me how I’d like to identify because she wanted to pass along my blog’s URL to the students in her “Queers and Theory” course in the most appropriate manner.

It’s too bad, really, that this extension of courtesy isn’t always extended to all.

So, how do I identity? Well, ask me, and maybe you’ll find out!