On Being a Man, pt. 1

I want to write a REALLY detailed post about my recent reading of Beyond Masculinity: Essays by Queer Men on Gender and Politics, (which I LOVED) but no time for that now.

One thing that the essays as a body do is to talk about the diverse range of what it means to be a man to different individuals. (Something I knew inside me, but was SO happy to read in print.) Definitely something I need to keep in the foreground of my mind.

Lately I've been preoccupied (in a bad way) by the fact that I wasn't socialized as a boy growing up, and sometimes feel really clueless about how I'm "supposed" to act in certain situations. For example, on my recent (and first ever) trip to Hooters



and my recent experience at Marrakesh, where I found myself in the front row for the belly dancer's show.



In each of these situations, I found myself particular uncomfortable with the display of women's bodies. Now, don't get me wrong, I LOVE women's bodies, but there was something about HOW they were seemingly on display for men in particular in these instances (definitely more so at Hooters than Marrakesh) that felt odd, and frankly, unpleasant.

As a woman, I loved looking at women's bodies, and did so often, brazenly and without apology. As a man, looking at women's bodies in the same way feels somehow wrong, even when it comes to women's bodies who invite and/or take pleasure in my gaze.

I think what I'm worried about is objectifying women as a man, and the patriarchal sexist power dynamic that objectification supports. True, I probably wasn't objectifying women any less when I was one, but it's not the same.

I don't really have any answers here, but I guess it's a good first step that I'm thinking about it at all...(as long as it's not the last step!)