Let the dog stop to poop!

As I was parking just a minute ago, I saw a person crossing the street with a small poodle puppy following behind. The puppy looked to be walking a bit strangely, as if on tip toe. Then I noticed that the dog was pooping as it was walking across the street!

Perhaps this is just what puppies do? But still, I would hope one would notice and let the dog stop to poop! (Needless to say, there was no scooping either!)

Here's to paying attention and noticing the small stuff!

My quest for Windows Movie Maker (some things are easy, some are not)

I've been watching a bunch of youtube videos lately--mostly of other transguys. It's been particularly great hearing their stories and experiences of transition.

While I doubt I'll be making my own video any time soon, I did want to have the ability to do so. Already armed with a webcam and microphone, all I needed was the software.

Easier said than done.

It took me ages to figure out what software would actually help to me "capture" video from my hardware. Then, it took even longer to try and find software that I could download for free that wasn't on some limited time trial. I finally settled on Microsoft Windows Movie Maker.

But then I spent more time than I should have today trying to find where I could download Microsoft's Windows Movie Maker for Windows XP. I thought I could get it directly from Microsoft! However, while they do offer a bunch of Windows Media Downloads, including creative packs that work with Windows Movie Maker, the only version of Movie Maker itself they have available (that I could find) was the Windows Vista version.

Finally, I found Windows Movie Maker 2 available through Download.com Just wanted to post about it here in case others were searching too--in the hopes that this would give them a good chance of finding their way to it faster than I did!

For others, for ourselves

Taking on the responsibility of maintaining a support network for others at just the right time when I could use one myself seemed like a ridiculous thing to do. (Jamison Green, Becoming a Visible Man, 67)

This wasn’t one of the quotations from Jamison Green’s book, Becoming a Visible Man, that I initially put on my list of quotations to blog about, but when I ran across it again the other day, I felt compelled to revisit it.

This quotation comes up in Green’s book as he is writing about Lou Sullivan’s presumption that Green would be taking over the FTM International Newsletter following Sullivan’s long-time leadership. Green stresses how much struggle and turmoil he is facing in his own life as he questions how suitable it is for him to take on the responsibilities for the newsletter. What he eventually realizes is that he has so much to offer, and that that doesn’t preclude his own needs for the help and support of others.

I’m actually reminded of my high school track coach, Mr. Turner, who said to us that the day when we feel most like not being at practice is the most important day to be at practice. He was trying to teach us the importance of showing up, of believing in our abilities, and of persevering.

It is often amazing to realize what we can do when we set out to accomplish a goal, and even more so when we simply set out to get through the day and come out with so much more.

I’m so thankful for all those who have stepped up, whether they felt ready to answer the call or not, to be in leadership positions. I hope they know what a difference they have made in so many of our lives. May we all return their investment in us to others in the future.

To the Love of Family

Whether we are men, women, or in between, we are always engaged in a social process of being accepted by others as well as ourselves. We [end page 120] form cultural agreements about what is recognizable and acceptable as masculine, feminine, and androgynous, we decide where our comfort zone is for ourselves, and then we form friendships with people who accept us for who we are and with whom we enjoy spending our time.
(Jamison Green, Becoming a Visible Man 120-121)

Because no one is an island (although many of us try to be) the society we live in, the company we keep, does have much significance in our lives. It’s true, we are all a part of “society,” and yet, at the same time “society” encompasses such a wide realm that those of us who find themselves on the outside of “mainstream society” often have to remind ourselves of the power and immense potential we have.

I’m one of the lucky queers who wasn’t ostracized by family when I came out to them...and yet I still haven’t come out to them as trans. I have no reason to suspect that they’d be anything but accepting, even if in that silent Asian way, but still the fear wins out.

I look to other transpeople I know and their family’s reactions and am emboldened.

I have no doubt that my parents love me, and that what they want is that I am happy, healthy, and safe. They, like a lot of immigrant parents, have sacrificed so much in the hopes that I will have more opportunities available to me, and ultimately a better life (than they had/have available to them?). They continue to lead their lives in this way that thinks always of the next (and even the one after that) generation. For some this might seem like a lot, but my parents always made it seem like the minimum they could/should do as parents. Like I said, I’m one of the lucky ones.

But family isn’t only about who raised us and cared for us.

Along with so many other queers, I have had the fortune to form chosen families. Just as Jamison Green’s quotation above states, “we form friendships with people who accept us for who we are and with whom we enjoy spending our time.” These friendships have been so important to me throughout my life; I only wish that all those who I have counted among these friends know the positive impact they’ve had on me.

Many of these friends continue to be important in my life today, and some I love as family. There’s nothing I wouldn’t do for them without a second thought. What I hope they know is that that attitude is as much about me loving them as it is about me honoring their love for me.

Thank you.

YouTube find #1

I've only begun to explore YouTube very recently. LOTS of stuff there, some better than others.

Ran across this, and while I'm not normally a starfucker, thought this was interesting enough to share. (Especially because I don't think many non-Filipinos in the U.S. realize the "famous" Filipinos in U.S. pop culture/entertainment.)