Metropolitan Community Church, DC

I made my first visit to the Metropolitan Community Church of Washington, DC (MCCDC) when I attended Midnight Mass there. It had been a long time since I went to a Midnight Mass instead of a Christmas Day Mass, but friends of mine were planning to go, and I thought it'd be nice to celebrate together.

Ordinarily, I wouldn't go to a mass that wasn't a Catholic one, but given MCC's track record of special ministry to lesbians, gay men, bisexual, and transgender people, I made an exception. Besides, this MCC is my friends' church, and so that too was an incentive.

Midnight Mass was beautiful--the choirs' singing was amazing, the lights in the church sparkled like stars, and, of course, if felt great to be worshipping among others.

Since then, I've paid a couple of other visits to MCCDC. These weren't on special occassions, but rather additional opportunities to worship with friends. Last week, though, after two weeks of going to MCC and not having gone to my regular Dignity services, I finally made it back to St. Margaret's and a Dignity Mass. And, I have to say, while MCC's service is lovely in so many ways, there's something about a Catholic mass that puts me at ease and makes me feel at home.

More later, though, on MCCDC--it may not be exactly right for me, but it could be for others, and is definitely worth checking out at least once! (Besides, I still plan on going on occassion.)

Agreeing to Disagree

Okay, chances are that we've probably heard and even used the phrase "agree to disagree" hundreds of times. After events that transpired this past weekend, however, I'm beginning to wonder if there really is such a thing as agreeing to disagree?

If you had asked me last week, I would have said, yes, of course! Moreover, I would have talked at length about how agreeing to disagree is the very sign of learning to live with and in differences (borrowing from Audre Lorde here) that is at the very heart of so much of the feminist and LGBT lessons that I take to heart, as well as the lessons I attempt to teach.

After this weekend, though, agreeing to disagree seems more like a euphemism for "don't talk to me, and I won't talk to you," or more simply put, "leave me alone."

Really, though, how does one agree to disagree with another, especially when all parties involved feel so strongly and passionately? It seems only logical that strong beliefs are followed with strong actions. Is it only when we've lost the will to fight that we acquiesce to disagree? But isn't not allowing disagreement a sign of a fascist dictatorship? How do we maintain our strong beliefs, and our passions, along with our relationship to those with whom we disagree?

I know all about agreeing not to talk about certain things with certain people because of differing opinions, but this hardly seems like maintaining a relationship in some regard, albeit a possibly small one. Just like "open secrets," that which is unnamed, even if known, holds a certain amount of power over. On the other hand, it isn't always as easy as just saying "Voldemort."

Hmm...Harry Potter references...I must be feeling slightly better!

The Way I See It

So, Starbucks has this program called "The Way I See It" which is "a collection of thoughts, opinions and expressions provided by notable figures" printed on the cups.

On the whole I find it to be an interesting program...and have even seen good friends of mine go to the trouble of saving their cups because they liked a particular quotation so much.

This was not the case of my reaction the other morning when I came upon the following:

The Way I See It #205

Many people search blindly for the "meaning of life." What they don't see to understand is that life does not have meaning through mere existence or acquisition or fun. The meaning of life is inherent in the connections we make to others through honor and obligation.

Dr. Laura Schlessinger

I definitely agree with much of the sentiment of this quotation. I think the meaning of life is in the connections we make to others--the relationships we make and the people, groups, places, and things that we make them with speak volumes about us and how we're living our lives. There is certainly an element of honor in any good relationship...but obligation? I don't think so! There is certainly responsibility and accountability involved in good relationships, but to me those things are vastly different from obligation.

But I have to say, as judgmental as it is, this quotation was ruin for me not only with the use of "obligation," but more so because it came from Dr. Laura Schlessinger. She's is far, far, far, far from being a friend to lgbt people.

It's true that this particular quotation wasn't homophobic, and that such quotations and conversations shouldn't only be with those that think exactly as we do. Intellectually, I know this. But emotionally, I don't care. I was disappointed that Starbucks would keep a quotation by her in circulation. Yeah, they've included the standard disclaimer "This is the author's opinion, not necessarily that of Starbucks. To read more or respond, go to www.starbucks.com/wayiseeit." Still, there are so many other authors...so many other quotations that can be sparks for conversation starters, stimulating thought--why use hers?

I guess what I'm really angry about, too, is that under this same program, there was a lot of hullabaloo over another quotation:

The Way I See It #43

My only regret about being gay is that I repressed it for so long. I surrendered my youth to the people I feared when I could have been out there loving someone. Don't make that mistake yourself. Life's too damn short.

Armistead Maupin

However, unlike the outcry against Maupin's quotation, I've still to find any against the continuation against Schlessinger's quotation. Maybe I'm especially cranky because I've only seen pictures of Maupin's quotation, but Schlessinger's, I seem to have gotten all week long!

I don't want censorship--queers know how that's been used against us enough. I just want some balance!

What about you, what do you want?

If you want to sound off, you can give Starbucks feedback directly, as well as submit your own quotations, or just read what others have to say.

The Innocents

Provisions Library is an amazing library in Washington, D.C., near Dupont Circle. I can't believe that it (a) took me so long to make my first visit there, and (2) don't go there on a more regular basis.

One trip to Provisions I did make, however, was to see Taryn Simon's photograph exhibition, "The Innocents: Headshots."

You can read more about the exhibit here, and read about the Innocence Project here.

It was a really powerful exhibit--not only because of the people's stories of being wrongfully accussed and incarcerated that it displayed, but also because of the medium of photography that Taryn Simon chose to tell these people's stories. (Dare I say portrait photography? I'm a total novice, so the photos may not adhere to the traditional standards of what gets counted as portrait photography, but that's how they read to me.)

In any case, the height at which they were mounted, the lighting used to illuminate them, the clarity and depth of the eyes of Simon's subjects was haunting. Their stories were haunting. In a way that I hope that others who visited the exhibit left thinking about the cruelties and injustices of the prison industrial complex we've built here in the U.S. How couldn't you feel otherwise when faced, literally, with story after story after story of these people's incarceration despite the ultimate revealation of their innocence.

Sure, folks make mistakes, including lawyers and judges, and police officers, etc...but there are mistakes and then there are systematized, institutional forces of racism and classism that disproportionately victimize working class men of color.

At the same time...one of the things that I left "The Innocents" haunted by in a way that I'm not sure the exhibt intended was that I was haunted by the many unresolved cases of sexual assault and rape that remained, in the background as it were. Because, you see, the subjects of Simon's photographs were predominantly men (I think I remember one photograph of a woman, and read of a mention of another such photograph) who had been wrongly accused of committing sexual assault and rape against women.

It is of utmost importance to note these people's innocence, and the ways in which despite their innocence they were incarcerated, some serving several years before new evidence emerged revealing their innocence. Yet at the same time, I don't want to diminish the experiences of sexual abuse these women faced. They too had crimes perpetrated against them. Although their expereinces are of a different nature, because their aggressors weren't state agents, it seems to me the hierarchical mentality that allows the crimes against those in the "Innocence Project" are present in the sexual crimes against these women. Don't get me wrong, the experiences of these two sets of "innocents" aren't the same, or even analogous--they're interconnected and overlapping. We must find a strategy that addresses all these issues, and doesn't leave any who are "innocent" behind.

V-Day, until the violence stops--against us all!

Deep in Clean Sweep Denial

It's been AGES since I made the time to sit and blog, though I keep meaning to. Clearly, I haven't meant to enough, or it would have happened already.

This is just one sign among many that I'm not regulating (or managing, as people like to more euphemistically put it) my time sufficiently. Other signs including, but not limited to: the unwashed state of my dirty laundry, the uncut growth of my hair (on the top of my head, you silly, dirty, blog reader!), the unpunched holes of the papers crammed in my 3-ring binder, the unwatched Netflix DVD sitting at home, and of course the still unwritten state of my dissertation.

You get the point...lots of things undone, though by no means forgotten.

Well, today I've been pushed to my limits--literally my email limits. I went over my email quota sometime late Sunday evening, and couldn't receive any new mail until I made some space this morning when I quickly trimmed some of the fat of my folders. Still, I'm at 90% of my quota, which should buy me a little while before I go over quota again, but clearly this is a band-aid approach to a larger problem.

Not wanting to let go.

I never have wanted to let things go...from the small, silly things to bigger items...receipts, movie stubs, fortune cookie fortunes, notes, letters, books, etc. What I need is to be "clean sweep-ed"--you know, the TV show?

I haven't seen any new episodes for quite some time now, so maybe they didn't make it to a third season, but I have to say that I LOVED that show. Peter Walsh was a great blend of understanding and firmness that handled peoples' attachments to their stuff with a grace that wasn't always gentle, but was always fair.

I could use some of his tough love and organization about now!

One of the things clogging up my email are msgs about all the things I want to blog about...but haven't. So, I'm gonna take some time today to tackle some of those and either write a post, or delete the msg. A very small gesture to getting myself cleaned up, if not swept clean, but I hope not insignificant.

Readers beware!