Tuesday, February 21, 2006

Body, Spirit, Mind

In junior high (probably 7th grade) Health Class, I learned about the health triangle. According to my teacher, Ms. Stubbs, the triangle's sides were body, spirit, and mind (or maybe they were physical, mental, emotional). (I definitely still remember the construction paper triangle she had posted on the wall, each side bearing one of the above titles.) She said about this triangle that each element was in relationship and balance to the other two, so that if you were feeling low in spirit, it would do you good to try and raise your body and mind; or perhaps, if your body was feeling ill, it would do you good to turn to sprit and mind. Okay, so I'm definitely not doing this whole health triangle justice in my explanation, but I think the concept is clear...

In any case, ever since my recent excursions to my campus' gym (known officially as Campus Recreation Services) I've been reminded of the health triangle. For instance today's intro to lgbt studies class didn't go as smoothly as I would have liked, and I just felt down and disappointed afterwards (despite having a meeting with a student from my feminist theory class that went really well). It was 4 o'clock in the afternoon, and the thought crossed my mind to just leave campus and try to beat rush hour traffic home. Instead, though, I decided to follow through with my plans to go to the gym and work out. I'm glad I did.

Okay, so at first things weren't looking good. I don't know why, but for some reason the machine I usually use I didn't know how to operate all of a sudden. In part, I was feeling a bit overwhelmed by all the other people working out--I always feel a little strange, as if being seen by students as I work out will just be the most horrible thing. In fact, the students who I have run into take it just fine. (I think I may even seem just a little cooler because I'm not afraid to sweat. Okay, so maybe this is my over-active Leo imagination, but who cares? Imagination and fantasy are crucial things in life, I say.)

In any case, I kept pressing "enter" instead of "start" and so couldn't get my machine to apparently "turn on." Thank goodness for a nice person in the next machine over, who after seeing me struggle leaned over slightly and pointed out exactly what I was doing wrong. There are nice people in the world! I quickly settled in, and I tell you, after an hour on that bike, listening to good music and re-reading one of my favorite lesbian mystery novels (Kate Allen's
Tell Me What You Like) I defintely didn't feel as bogged down by my disappointing class discussion as I did earlier.

Now if I could just figure out what makes me a more productive (dissertation) writer! Oh well, one step at a time.

Sunday, February 19, 2006

Breaking Bread with Others

I don't know exactly when or how it started, but a bunch of my Starbucks co-workers and I are trying to make our own tradition of getting together for lunch/dinner every three weeks or so. Yesterday marked my third such meal. My first time, there were three of us; the second time, there were four of us; yesterday, there were five of us. I can't imagine it continuing to grow, but I do hope it continues.

Not only was it fun to break bread and just relax with my co-workers, but it was nice to spend some time outside of work with them. Okay, so we might have spent a good amount of time venting about work, but that certainly wasn't the only thing we talked about. We shared other parts of ourselves...stories of our pasts and our presents, and hopes for the future. We learned about each other as co-workers, and more importantly as people with lives outside of work.

It's amazing what can happen over a shared meal. I certainly don't do it enough, and think it's becoming a lost tradition. In fact, when I was apartment shopping in the summer so many people said that sharing the kitchen wouldn't be a problem because they hardly ever cooked. The same is certainly true for my current roommate. I don't know how/where/if the man eats.

Mind you, I'm no gourmet, and I certainly did cook best when I was living with a lover that I shared meals with--and probably the best during that year I spent as a vegan--but, I do enjoy cooking for myself. I haven't been doing much of it lately, though, since my new schedule has me running from place to place, or else too exhausted to eat, let alone cook. At least I've stopped eating late at night, and I've introduced more fresh fruit into my diet (fruit is such a great food--no fuss, no muss, and they can actually have some nutritional value). I definitely have a long way still to go, but a starts a start.

But not only is eating well, important, I definitely miss group-shared meals--the kind where you sit and talk and take hours, and have at least three courses. A good friend of mine still in Daly City, C.W., is an amazing person for such meal experiences. Every time I go back to CA, we get together for such a long meal at least once, if not more (if I'm lucky).

Years ago, I had a group of schoolmates that would get together for lunch, too. I used to lovingly refer to the three of us as the Tuesday Asian Lunch Club because we met after we taught class on Tuesdays, and because in our own way we were "Asian." The other two are both international students, one from Indonesia and one from South Korea. Despite our varying "Asian" experiences, it's probably been these two women among my departmental colleagues that I've had the most steady, undramatic relationships with. That is, though we've personally experienced ups and downs, and gone through our fair share of trials and tribulations, our friendships have never been the cause of any ill feelings among us.

It's actually amazing to think back about it, and realize just how true that is. Being in a Women's Studies department I thought would mean less of that interpersonal conflict, but then I remembered that such a location didn't preclude drama from happening (and if fact, many times it feels like it engenders it).

I miss those lunches. Two of us are still in town (the one has since moved to Vancouver, Canada), and every time we see each other in the department, my spirits are raised a little, and I feel less alone (and I think the same goes for her). We talk about getting together, but we haven't yet. I'm not exactly sure why. Maybe we needed that third...but maybe we don't. Something for me to think about.

But right now I've got to get ready and get off to a meeting!

Succumbing to Temptation

Well, after 2 months and 3 cigarette-free days, I finally caved in yesterday and had two cigarettes. :( The first one I had during a break from work, and it improved my mood tremendously. The second one was just pure over-indulgence. I can already feel the effects of having smoked yesterday...not a bad reminder as I start to quit again.

Thursday, February 16, 2006

TGIT :)

Although I've finished my "official" teaching day already, I'm nowhere near going home, and just fine with that...

I am a bit disappointed that I fell asleep so early last night that I didn't find out what Geek/Beauty pair was ousted, nor was I able to see who's Out on Project Runway, but I guess my body needed the sleep. All that sleep, combined with a sunny warmish day has me in a really good mood today. (It's on days when we have weather like this that I wonder why I ever thought leaving southern California was a good idea.) PLUS, the fact that I've just had two fabulous days of teaching helps, too. I also had great interactions with dissertation committee members and other faculty this week, too, which certainly makes a difference.

I'm going a little crazy teaching two different classes over four different days, along with working 20+ hours at Starbucks, and commuting over an hour a day, but I just may be hitting my stride (and, heck, it's only the end of week 4 out of 15 in the semester, so that's no soooo bad). I think I've finally learned all 70 of my students' names, and we're getting to that point where they start talking to one another, and not just to me during class discussions.

Yesterday, I had an especially fulfilling teaching experience in my Intro to LGBT Studies course. While I was initially concerned when one student, who had only recently joined the class, asked if one of the interview subjects that one of the texts for the day quotes is "really bisexual or not" it certainly didn't last long. The student was clear that in hir opinion--the interview subject was clearly in denial, and should just claim a bisexual identity.

I listed to the question, paused for a second, and then asked the rest of the class what they thought. What happened was just the greatest discussion that problematized definitions of identity, referenced issues of self-determination, offered counter-examples scrutinizing heterosexual-behaviors by queer-identified folks, raised the issue of "horizontal hostility" and policing by and of "our own." Students were engaged, and demonstrated so by actively participating. Then, because this was only the first part of our discussion, we got onto talking about what investments we had behind asking the question in the first place.

Fun. Fun. Fun.

I can't believe I get to teach this stuff.

Then, today, in my Feminist Theory class, the first team of discussion leaders took over the course. In the past, I've been hesitant to give so much control to "discussion initiators" (as I like to call them)--not only because I'm a control freak, but also because you never know what you will or won't get (okay, so maybe this is just a variation on the whole control freak thing). This group did a fabulous job. They were so nervous that they over-prepared, which is not only just fine by me, but which also sets the bar high for all the other groups to follow. We had a great discussion about the importance of intersectional analysis and activism, and about coalition strategies and struggles.

Aside from teaching, I've also had fun having a Pinay-filled week.

First, one of the prospective candidates applying for my program's currently open faculty position that was visiting the campus this week was pinay--Celine Parrenas Shimizu. She was full of great energy, and just so exciting. She engaged students actively, presented her vision for the future of Women's Studies clearly, and offered pracitical advice for getting through a PhD Program--and I only spent an hour with her!

Second, one of my Feminist Theory students chatted me up before class today, making a connection to me based on our Filipinoness. God, it makes me feel as if she's my first Pinay student since I first came to the University of Maryland in 2000. Hmmmm....that can't be right, but clearly, Pinay students have been so few are far between that I can't easily recall any at the moment. The ridiculous thing is that I still remember bunches of my students of color, Pinays and others, from my days at San Diego State.

Damn, I need to get back to the west coast. I'm going for a long weekend at the end of this month, but that's definitely only a temporary solution.

Sunday, February 12, 2006

Sunday Romance

Made my way to see Imagine Me & You this afternoon, and it was just what I needed.

Anyone who doesn't like romantic comedies isn't someone I need to know.

Luce: Don't forget me.
Rachel: I won't remember anything else.

It might be cheesy, but it's also full of faith and hope about love.

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Rant about On-line Shopping

I just have to say, when it rains it pours. Two things that I've recently ordered on-line (from two completely different companies) have gone missing. I certainly haven't received any goods, but both companies swear the merchandise has been sent. I doubted myself to the point where I thought maybe I didn't know my own address. (I know, that sounds slightly ridiculous, but after living in the same place for five years and just having moved less than six months ago, I figured I could have mistakenly used my old zip code, or made some other error.) But no, shipping info. was correct--heck, they sure knew how to bill me for the stuff!

The upside is that when I called to say, "hey, where's my stuff?", I talked to nice people. Now, the trick is to see if they'll be nice people who can get stuff done.

Monday, February 06, 2006

Rant about my Starbucks Manager

You've been fully warned what this post will be about in my title, so proceed at your own risk.

I'm sure there are those who would have advised me against it, but I just sent off the following letter:

Dear [District Manager],

I am writing to you today to share my dismay at my present situation at the Starbucks located at [censored for my privacy]. First, let me say that over the past three and a half years that I have been a Starbucks partner, I have come to truly appreciate all the ways in which Starbucks makes itself a company that is truly a top company to work for. In particular, I have continued to be amazed at the variety and depth of benefits that Starbucks extends to its partners, including such things as our Future Roast Plan, S.I.P., Bean Stock, Choose to Give, health and dental insurance, and even our weekly bean/tea markout.

Specifically, I wanted to write to you and share my disappointment in the current management. I understand that as an outside hire my current manager, [censored for privacy], will necessarily need time to adjust to being a part of Starbucks, and to acclimate to Starbucks’ procedures and policies. I freely admit that as a long-time partner, I had high expectations of [censored] when he first came to Potomac Yards, and perhaps was not as patient as I could have been, or should have been, for instance, when I felt that he did not enact deployment correctly during busy periods. Aside from his management of partners on the floor, however, I am writing today specifically in regards, and reaction to, his decisions about scheduling.

I was fortunate in that my last manager was particularly adept at balancing partners’ availabilities and need for hours. In fact, to his credit, during his tenure at this location was able to spread out hours in such a fashion that those of us seeking benefits through Starbucks were able to maintain a 20 hour week minimum average in order to be eligible, and maintain eligibility for benefits. I am very disheartened to say, however, that the current manager has not been as successful to date.

Although the current quarter is not yet finished, I am facing the fact that at this quarter’s end, I will most likely fail to meet the minimum 240 QTD hours worked to maintain benefit eligibility. (The only way I could maintain eligibility would be to use practically ALL of my available vacation hours (50 hours), although technically I missed only one week (20 hours) of work due to being on vacation.) While I did take some time off during New Years (the aforementioned one week), contributing to my lack of hours worked, I did not take any more time than I have in the past, nor has there been a great change in my availability from times past when I was able to maintain benefit eligibility. I, have, however, experienced at least three weeks this quarter when my scheduled hours (1) were no where near my usually scheduled hours, and (2) were below 20 hours for the week. I know that Starbucks does not guarantee a minimum amount of hours to its retail partners, but I am surprised that I have experienced such a decline in my scheduled hours, despite having always received such high reviews on my performance evaluations in the past, along with my availability as one of the few barista-level partners that can open during the weekdays.

From my vantage point, my scheduling hours began just after I approached the manager to share with him my disappointment at what I perceived to be his poor management. I have no firm evidence of this, however, and fully admit that this is simply based on my perceptions and conjecture at the timely coincidence of these, and other similar events. (After speaking with my then assistant manager, who then approached the manager, voicing some of my concerns, I again experienced a decline in hours when others experienced an increase.)

I understand that there is not much you can do to assist me in my situation. I take solace in the fact that I have received approval to transfer to my former manager's soon-to-be-opening new store location. Really, I just wanted to take this time to share these thoughts with you for my own peace of mind.

I have been very disgruntled about my situation, and feeling as if I haven’t been able, or safe enough to share these thoughts with my supervisors, be they shift supervisors, the assistant manager, or the manager without experiencing negative outcomes. These past few months have been among the most unpleasant in my tenure as a Starbucks partner, and have been the only the only time when I have seriously considered reaching out to Starbucks Corporate Compliance. I firmly believe in Starbucks’ Mission Statement, and it is in the spirit of our six guiding principles that I have chosen to write to you today.

I trust that you will take this information for whatever it may be worth. If you desire, please do feel free to contact me in regards to this letter. As I said earlier, I know there isn’t much you can do about my situation, but I do want to thank you for your time and this opportunity to share with you my feelings.

Sincerely,
[me]


It actually feels really good to get some of this stuff off my chest. Working at Starbucks is supposed to be my fun job, the thing that tides me over in the summer, and keeps me connected to people when my academic pursuits would just as soon have me sitting at my computer alone for much of the time. I really do like the company, and have always enjoyed my work--until recently. Hopefully sending this letter off will help me to let go of the situation and keep focused on the stuff that's still good and fun.

Sunday, February 05, 2006

Karaoke and the Construction of Identity

Just finished reading the essay "Karaoke and the Construction of Identity" by Casey Man Kong Lum in the book Technicolor: Race, Technology, and Everyday Life.

Excerpted from Lum’s 1996 book, In Search of a Voice: Karaoke and the Construction of Chinese Identity in America [which is an ethnography of “how karaoke is used in the expression, maintenance, and (re)construction of social identity as part of the Chinese American experience” (122)], this chapter in Technicolor provides an introduction and overview of Lum’s project and findings. Lum, in this essay, “examine[s] how karaoke may be engaged in a great variety of ways, and how varying social meanings can be constructed though the use of karaoke in different everyday contexts” (122). More specifically, Lum begins the essay by establishing the ways in which karaoke is a cultural practice, a form of communication and interaction among people.

The central question Lum asks is, “What cultural practice does karaoke embody?” (124).

After a brief section outlining the social origins of Karaoke, from its origins to Japan to its appearance in the U.S., Lum then goes on to discuss “karaoke decorum”—“a set of conventions for maintaining and judging what is to be considered socially appropriate [as well as what is inappropriate or socially unacceptable] behavior in a karaoke scene” (126). Next, Lum discusses the ways in which those who participate in karaoke are producers as well as readers. After these more general discussions of karaoke, Lum then turns to writing specifically about the three distinct types of karaoke cultural practices he observed in various Chinese American communities. These three distinct practices emerged from three distinct interpretive communities, distinguished by such things as their location, class status, and immigrant status. In particular, in this short chapter Lum analyzes the way in which karaoke embodied expressions of ethnicity, class, and gendered practices within these three communities.

Lum's analysis of karaoke will definitelyusefuluable/usefull to my own work on drag kings, especially to thinking about Asian/American drag kings and Asian/American drag king fans.

Aside from providing me with language of how to talk about kinging as a cultural practice, Lum's attention to "karaoke decorum" serves as a reminder to me to think about "king decorum," not only in terms of expectations of performers, of audience members, but also the expectations as performers interact with one another, audience members interact with one another, as well as how performers and audience members co-mingle.

In addition, I really liked the way Lum structured his analysis. Although he was able to identify three disctinct interpretive communities, he didn't use these three communities to organize/drive his analysis, instead he used them to help illustrate the variety of ways in which karaoke cultural practices become embodied in various contexts, highlighting those expressions. Doing so helps to bring the focus away from the "individual" and to the oppressive systems and institutions individuals find themselves within. To be clear, Lum never asserts that these individuals lack agency (quite the opposite, actually), but rather calls attention to the fact that there is a bigger-picture that must be considered.

Overall, Lum's work was a much-needed reminder that as I continue my work, I need to think of the nuances and depths of communities and of cultural practices. There is no one way of karaoking, or kinging--there are only the ways that we have come to establish, for whatever reasons. What's important is to uncover those reasons, understand how they've come to establish currently existing "norms," evaluate the im/balance of power in those "norms," and consider how we might, based on altered reasons and thinking work to shift and transform established "norms" to express and embody anti-racist, anti-sexist, and overall anti-oppressive practices.

Friday, February 03, 2006

Wishing the Extra-Ordinary Wasn't So

It's been a busy week. Partly because I'm still adjusting to my new teaching schedule, complete with having to deal with handfuls of new students joining the class in the second week.

I was also out late on Wednesday (Feb 1) for the monthly drag king show. I can't believe next month's show will commemorate the 6th year anniversary of the monthly show happening in this one nightclub. Yes, it is quite an achievement. Still, I have to say, six years later, and I wonder how things have (not) changed.

Okay, maybe I'm a bit jaded--I mean I've been going to these shows for the past six years (not all 71 mind you, but definitely a good share of them).

I want to write a long(er) post on drag kings and community, but I'm not feeling up to it right now, so more on that later.

For right now, though, I just wanted to say, I wish sometimes the extra-ordinary wasn't so. One of the performances at this month's show was by RoKETT:



RoKETT, Washington, DC
RoKETT has been performing since October 2004 with the DC Kings and has been going strong ever since. They are known for their moves and singing, but this year on the Great Big Stage you will see Rocky, Kuryosity, E-Cleff, Thatway, and Taz Majik bring you back to the good ol days with a little hip hop flavor. This group appeals to all types of ladies, and we guarantee you will not be disappointed.

Along with appealing to the ladies, RoKETT hopes to appeal to more diverse audiences in the DC area.

What is your flavor?
Rocky, The Thug.
Kuryosity, The Nasty One.
E-Cleff, The Pretty Boy.
Thatway, The Gay Boy. Or
Taz Majik, The Smooth Daddy.

Check RoKETT out at:
DC Kings Bio Page
Great Big 5 Bio Page


One of the reasons I really enjoy RoKETT's performances is that it's amazing to see a GROUP of kings working together. Even though the DC drag king scene has often touted its lack of competitions, stressing instead their support of one another, this has interestingly led to very few groups steadily performing together. (There are a decent number of pairs of performers, though. And, of course, for the big annual drag shows--the Showcase at IDKE, and the Great Big--group numbers are much more prevalent).

Aside from RoKETT's noteworthiness because of the high level of their group choreography and costuming, though, they also make quite an impression as an ALL AFRICAN-AMERICAN group. While I definitely think it's an important feature of RoKETT to mention, I also can't help but feel saddened by it. I guess I just wish they weren't so extra-ordinary because of their racial make-up--because being so is evidence of the limits of the "diversity" of the drag community. Then again, exposing these limits is a great thing...

Wednesday, February 01, 2006

Um, Um, Um -- Tagged for the Very First Time

So, I got tagged by Gladys, who's now taken my tag virginity. Here goes:

LISTS OF 3



Three books I can read over and over:


1) Boy Meets Boy by David Levithan (YA queer fiction)
2) The Harry Potter Series by J.K. Rowling (a different type of YA queer fiction)
3) Tell Me What You Like by Kate Allen (sexy lesbian mystery fiction)


Three places I've lived:


1) My childhood home in Daly City, CA (just up the street from Serramonte)
2) In Misty Mountain (a killer third floor, corner dorm room at the University of California, Irvine)
3) In a basement (where I am currently--it may not be a big deal, but for this CA native, basement living is a big adjustment)


Three TV shows I love:


1)Survivor
2)Grey's Anatomy
3)CSI: Las Vegas (although Crossing Jordan is up there, too)


Three highly regarded and recommended TV shows that I've never watched a single minute of:


1)The Sopranos
2)Dancing With the Stars (well, at least my mom loves it--especially this season since there's a Filipina competing)
3)Lost


Three places I've vacationed:


1) Newport, Oregon
2) Osaka, Japan
3) Boracay


Three of my favorite dishes:


1) Fried Dungeness Peppercorn Crab (with garlic noodles) from PPQ's
2) Eggs Florentine
3) Black Beans and Yellow Rice, Moosewood Style


Three sites I visit daily:


1) My university's main homepage
2) Amazon.com (because I'm constantly looking for books there that my library doesn't own!)
3) Craigslist.org [because I'm waiting to see who's had a missed connection with me ;) ]


Three places I would rather be right now:


1) At PPQ's eatin' Peppercorn crab
2) San Francisco, CA
3) Long Beach, CA


Three bloggers I am tagging:


1)Booklyn Bat Cave
2)Queer View Mirror
3)Yellow Gal